2014
Newsletter

From the Guisto Family
of Gaithersburg

Tom becomes Obama’s interpreter

In order to earn some extra cash, Tom took and passed the Civil Service test for sign language interpreter. Tom aced the job interview since no one at the White House knew how to sign; Tom impressed them with his enthusiasm. When it was finally realized that Tom could not fully sign, Tom said that he thought that he could since he saw the Seinfeld episode guest starring Marlee Matlin so many times.

Tom is included in selfie with world leaders

Tom joined in on a selfie with the President and the Prime Minister of Denmark.

The First Lady was not amused

Tom heard the President say that this was the most fun memorial ever. However the First Lady was not enjoying herself.

Tom is nominated to be ambassador to Norway

After President Obama’s first nominee, a campaign bundler named George T., made a fool of himself during his Senate confirmation hearing and proved to be completely incompetent, Obama nominated Tom to be ambassador to Norway. During his Congressional hearing Tom was asked if he had ever been to Norway. Tom responded, “I’ve been to Denmark, which is like the same thing. Besides when I flew into Copenhagen, I flew over Norway, or maybe it was Sweden. Again, same-o, same-o!” Since this was closer to Norway than bundler George T. had ever been Tom was deemed an expert. When asked about the European Union, Tom replied, “F*ck the EU!” and received a round of applause from all in the hearing room. The Senate confirmed Tom unanimously. Additionally Tom promised “to read Wikipedia to brush-up on Norway before I get to Stockholm or is it Oslo? Whatever.” However, Tom was told by the White House, “Don’t bother. We don’t want you to be over qualified. Then each country would want a real competent ambassador instead of a political hack!”

Tom runs with the bulls again - the bulls win again!

Even thought he didn’t do well last year, Tom decided to run again. However the results were the same. And again Tom was unfortunate enough to be gored by a bull that was also skilled to de-pants runners! Total score:
BULLS – 2, TOM – 0!

Tom visits the White House

Since Tom has an open invitation to the White House, he often joins the First Family for dinner and other meals. Once during lunch, and right in the middle of one of Tom’s fascinating Navy stories, the security alarm went off.

Tom visits often

Tom was annoyed and asked if the alarm was really necessary. The President ordered the Secret Service to shut down the alarm system. Since there are so many alert guards and agents on the White House grounds, no one objected. Because he is such a welcome guest Tom enters and leaves via the front door. One evening in September Tom left the White House, but forgot to lock the door. The rest, as they say, is history!

Tom runs for mayor on the Tea Party ticket

Tom was hoping to win based on the strong anti-Obama sentiment sweeping the country – even in Maryland.

The alleged selfie

However once the selfie with the President surfaced Tom’s campaign went into a tailspin. During the debate when asked about his apparent close relationship with President Obama, Tom replied, “President Who?” When specifically asked if he was in a selfie with the President, Tom refused to answer stating “This is a matter of principle” and that he did not want to violate the “sanctity” of the selfie.

Tom performs with Miley!

When Miley Cyrus recognized how talented Tom is, she soon had him performing along side her.

Late night nightclubbing

Above, Tom is starring as lead mushroom. After the shows Tom and Miley usually go nightclubbing in Gaithersburg.

Tom’s looking forward to a Great 2015

Tom and his true love

The Guisto family of Gaithersburg
wishes everybody a
Happy and Healthful 2015!

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